Questions to Ask in an Elephant in the Room Discussion

Community Respect Project
  1. Is it ok if I both listen to you, and ask questions? Listening and clarifying will help me better understand your point of view.
  2. I am willing to answer the same questions I ask, if you are interested in hearing my thoughts?
  3. What are the primary (major/key) points of your position or concerns? Would you help me by summarizing your “big picture” and then we can get to the details? Would you mind if I repeat your points? Then hopefully we start with a point of understanding. If I don’t understand you, let’s try again.
  4. What in your opinion are the key questions I should be asking that will help me better understand this matter being discussed?
  5. How did you come to your position / view? Have you always held the view that you currently hold? Is there anything that would cause you to change or tweak your current views?
  6. What are the sources of information that you use to come to your conclusions? The terms Fake-News / Misinformation are used often. How do you determine when something is True and/or when it is Not True?
  7. Changes are part of life at almost every level. What are you currently learning or observing that changes or influences this matter?
  8. Do you, yourself have questions about your views or positions on this matter? Would you share them with me?
  9. Is one side of the issue completely 100% right and the other side completely 100% wrong? Does the other side have an insight or belief that could be helpful to finding a solution to the disagreement?
  10. Have you talked or communicated with people on the opposite side of your view who either are in authority or are very knowledgeable about their position? Are you willing to hear these people out?
  11. Is a two-way-street conversation an acceptable option for you? (Where we both speak, and we both listen to one another?)
  12. What is your end-game in this matter? How do you see us finding answers to this issue? Are there solutions that uphold one another’s dignity?
  13. What steps of action are you taking to make the topic of this discussion / situation better?
  14. Are there reasonable compromises to be made? If so, what might they be?

Please tell me? What can I do to be part of the solution?  THANK YOU FOR TALKING WITH ME… I do so much better when people talk with me, rather than at me. I have learned some valuable information from you. Thanks for educating me on your point of view. Can we talk some more?

Wendell Amstutz, MA

Wendell Amstutz, MA

CEO | Author / Speaker | amstutz@ncommunityrc.org | 507-254-1265

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